This but That

I want so much to be balanced. To be serious but fun. To be steady but adventurous. To be detailed but compassionate. To be focused yet relaxed. I want to be smarter. I want to have a better memory. I want to be patient. I want to be deeper. I want to reflect Christ. I want to be pure. I want to be fun without being frivolous.

I want to be unable to be defined by a single word.  Unless of course that word is "balanced." ;-)  But no, really.  I want to be a person who is neither extreme nor indistinguishable.  I in no way want to be average.  I want to be painted in a mosaic of bold colors and crisp lines.

I am at my root a person of contradictions.  The greatest of which involves the fact that is can be very hard to see.  I have a sweet candy shell that hides it all very nicely.

So tell me, what words would you use to describe me?  What words would you like to hear describing YOU?

1000 words

They say a picture is worth 1000 words.  Here is my 1000 word answer to my third question. Who do I want to be?  This pic shows a balance of romance and family that just about slapped me in the face when I saw it.  I love it.
(except my husband would never wear a tucked in polo shirt)

Photo taken by an old friend and stolen from her blog http://apurposedrivenmom.blogspot.com/

Starting all over. Again.

Someone told me that email is going out of fashion among the upcoming generation. It's all social networking now.  I've kept up pretty well I think.  I'm FaceBook savvy and I tweet from two different accounts.  I'm connected to my BlackBerry as if my life depended on it.  Yet, I feel like my soul has been chopped into status posts and 140 character statements.  My thoughts never develop fully. (My grammar and use of the English language as a whole has suffered VIOLENCE as well.)  The biggest upside is that people think I'm funny now.  I didn't really hear that very often until I had to make everything short and sweet.

In an effort to stop living on the surface, I am returning to the art of the blog.  No more FaceBook as a form of expression.  I'll use FB when someone leaves a message or a post for me or when I want to say hello to a friend.  I'll use my personal twitter account more as an information sharing vehicle.  My NKOTB twitter probably won't change except that it will see less personal musings from me.  I'll be coming HERE to share my days and heart.  I'll be exploring my thoughts to see where they go instead of losing them in the stream of constant updates.

I blogged fairly consistently back in 2005-2007, with a smattering of posts in 2008, and I captured a very interesting (to me) portion of my life.  Reading over those posts I realized that I had a much clearer grasp on WHO I was and WHERE I was going than I do now.  I might not have known the final destination, but I knew the direction most certainly.  I won't blame this change in myself solely on social networking.  There are other reasons I'll explore at a future date.  I will say that social networking has delayed the much needed ADDRESS of these other reasons.  Let this journey begin.