Monday, October 18, 2010

A random thought about dating in the church

So much I could say.  So much I could overshare.  So many specks of dust I could pick at while ignoring the plank sticking out of my eye socket.  So I'll highlight one particular plank and let you draw your own conclusions.

In my experience, women in the church, especially those of us who grew up there, are not very good at flirting.  We are often described as cold and unapproachable.  It's not because we ARE cold, it's because the idea of being flirtatious seems taboo.  Of course, for the most part we don't want to be labeled a flirt.  But given our rep, we seem to be drawing the line WAY too conservatively.

I have a dry and sarcastic wit.  When I'm comfortable, I'm funny and can tease.  At church, I often work behind the coffee counter keeping cream and sugar filled while greeting people as they arrive.  Sometimes I'm more "on" than others.  Sometimes I worry that some funny witty convo might be seen as flirting.  Especially when I'm taking to a new male only to have his wife suddenly appear and snuggle up to him.  Mostly I'm just doing my job.  Sometimes I'll admit I'm trying to get a look at that ring finger.  (It would be SOOOO much easier if wedding rings were worn in the nose or eyebrow.  Not that I'm a fan of that look, but still.)

What is flirting really?  How is it different from being warm and caring/funny?  If you accidentally flirt with a married man do you need to repent?  CAN you accidentally flirt?  Is it simply a specific set of outward actions or is it defined in it's motive?

Another plank in my eye: I over-analyze anything and everything.